Dancing the Dance of Sociablity...

Perhaps we're all just students, however it seems that some of us are students, whereas others are insolents, immature cretins who don't allow us to have self existence. I myself am a student (to the best of my ablity) and am trying to live my life amongst the idiots...

Lifes rough...

Hmm...

Since Monday falls on a Tuesday this Wednesday, our regular Thursday meeting will be held on Friday this Saturday, because Sunday is a holiday.

Homesick At Home...

For quite some time, I've had two homes. One with my mother in a town I spent most of my life in, the other with my father, in a town that, though I didn't live in it until recently, I had always considered my home. So no matter where I go...I'm always rather sad because I'm homesick for where I'm not. So how am I supposed to ever be content in a home unless I make both places not my home, and find a new home?

Oceanic Euphoria...

All my life, I've had a special fascination with the ocean. Its my passion. However I'd never actually seen it before. However, on a road trip through Massachusetts, Connecticut, and Rhode Island, which occured (and I'm still on atm) this weekend, I saw the ocean for the first time in my life. Not only that, but I almost killed my feet, walking into the freezing cold, month of March ocean water. But even in the freezing cold, I happily sat on a big wet rock along a small peir for nearly an hour, getting lightly splashed with each wave against the rocks. And I'd never been more content.
Its always been said that nothing in the world is perfect. But my soul was at the happiest it could ever be, and as each wave swept across the rock, I drifted mor and more into sheer contentment and thought to myself "If nothing in the world is perfect, this has to be the closest it'll ever ever get."
For once in my life, I really felt like I had a purpose. To most people in the world, the ocean is really pretty, and its a nice thing to see, but for me its more. Its been one of the most signifigant thin gsy in my life since as far back as I can remember. And sitting on that rock, the cool mist breezing past me and the taste on salt on my lips, I felt for the fist time in my life...right. I felt like this was where I belonged and where I wanted to be. I'd trade every happy moment of my life, for just a few fleeting seconds of that. I saw all my future flash past my eyes, and I knew that this was going to be a part of it. I wanted nothing more than to just be there, with the water at arms reach. And as the moments fleeted by and I waited for my dad to come back for me, I had the sad realization that it would kill me to leave it behind. This, after all, was my destiny. The ocean breeze, took me like arms in a gentle embrace, each splash of the water a delicate caress across my cheek. It was the most signifigant moments of my life.
And as I left that place, I felt my soul wither back to its regular null, and I saw the waves less and less the more I walked away. But I'll hold the memory of that near perfection in my mind forever.

The Smoldering Wreckage Of Everything Else...

I wonder sometimes if some things that have happened to me were for the best, no matter how painful. Alot has happened to me in the past year and a half, and I wonder sometimes if I really am the same person I used to be. I've always said that people never really change, and that opinion of mine hasn't changed either. However its like things around me have changed so much that I can't help but think that, maybe, I myself really have changed.

Hello World

Two days in a row, I think its a new record... I actually remembered to come back here.
I've been thinking alot lately about the theorized apocolypse of 2012. Being someone whos a bit paranoid myself, I don't like to think about the world ending. However its helpful to look to the future while learning from the present, and maybe forseeing what will come next. For me, I see a constant struggle, battling myself for power over my own life. Hopefully it won't be too painful a struggle.

Back With a New Way...

Well, I'm 15 now, loves. Things have changed an awful lot in a year and a half. Chrisykins became just Christine, and life is holding me there. I chose to abandon this blog because of emotional issues on my part. Now I'm back and hopefully here to stay.
When I got this blog in the first place, it was merely ment to be a way to keep in touch with my two best friends. I've really only ever had two best friends. One I still talk to sometimes, the other now hates me over what I consider to be a misunderstanding. I still hope that one day things will be fixed between her and I but I don't epect to ever get that... This blog is now to show just what and who I am now.
I dwell from Irondequoit, New York. I'm an ex-Watertonian with high hopes of never being a Watertonian again. I left behind everyone and everything I loved, including my own mother, to start a new life here, and try to prove to the world that I am me, and no one else. As I proved very well in my earlier entries (a year and a half ago approximately) I was very crowd-copy prone. I wanted to be just like everyone else, just like everybody did. I broke from the never ending circle of cliche and copy and discovered myself anew.
Today, I don't live for the latest look or the most popular thing. I live for myself, my parents, my sister and her family, and my four close friends, Alexa, Ethan, Tia, and Jackie. I realize that if you aren't living for what really matters to you, then whats the point in living at all?
I considered getting a new blog, but why not just continue here and show that I have changed and that I am not the pretend person I used to try be.
Reading my old entries, i can just sense how immature i was. At the time I thought I really was mature but looking back I feel that my maturity now well concludes that I was wrong. Hopefully I'm actually right about my maturity now...